On Losing A Friend
Posted by Martha & Greg Singleton , Monday, June 1, 2009 12:35 PM
I would have expected a phone call last evening. But, I knew it wouldn’t be coming, so I just shut my phone off so I could deal with the emotion the events of the day had brought my way.
I lost a good friend yesterday, very unexpectedly, and much too early. Bill passed away on the basketball court, doing something he loved to do, with the person he most enjoyed sharing it with – his son Zach. Bill and I shared the same passions, and that’s why it didn’t take too long for us to begin to connect after we first met. He loved God intensely, and extravagantly poured out the overflow of that love on his family. He loved to laugh, boisterously, with friends. And, he loved sports. What I enjoyed most about Bill was the way all those passions kind of sloshed together. There was a seamless flow in our conversations together that usually included bits and pieces of all those things. The extent of the family and marriage counsel he sought from me was how a dad could watch his kids compete and succeed in sports without becoming too proud or too pushy. He wondered what things I had done to make Martha more interested in sports so he could share them with Deborah, too.
Bill had a real gift. I suppose it was what made him so successful in sales. I’ve never been friends with anyone who asked so many questions about me, what my thoughts were, what made me tick. And, after he figured me out, he was diligent about sharing those passions with me. The first time we were really engaged in more than cursory conversation, he managed to find out that our son Matt was attending Baylor University, so, we were a family of Baylor sports fans. That’s all it took. He pledged to me that he was going to be a Bear Backer, too, except, of course, when they faced his beloved Texas Tech Red Raiders.
And that’s when the phone calls started. I could count on hearing from him every time Baylor was on TV, or when the paper ran a story about them. The sport didn’t make any difference – football, basketball, baseball, track, men’s teams or women’s teams. The phone would ring, and he wouldn’t have to identify himself, he just led off with, “What did you think of the game?” So, when Baylor bowed out of the NCAA baseball tournament yesterday, the phone should have rung, Bill should have been on the other end to console me, and he would have ended the conversation with, “Oh well, football season starts in another month, and I’m expecting Robert Griffin to make big noise for the Bears this year. Hey! We love you guys!” But the phone was quiet.
I always felt that Bill was thinking about me. He made me feel that he valued my opinion and appreciated my company. After all, that’s just exactly what real friends do. I saw him at church yesterday morning, the first time our paths had crossed in about a month. He threw his arms around me and said, loudly, of course, “Man, we’ve missed you guys! When can we get together?” Next time we get together Bill, time won’t constrain us and busyness won’t deter us. We’ll talk and laugh as long as we want to.
So, I’ve been reminded the past twenty-four hours how important it is to shake off the tyranny of the urgent, those things that cry out for attention and fill our time, but are of no eternal value. Those people God has placed in my life really mean something. Lord, help me to be aware of my time, cautious of my attention and lavish with my love.
