Happy Birthday, Josiah!

Dear Josiah,

Happy first birthday to the best grandson in the whole world! That’s not just bragging. That’s a fact. I always knew being a grandpa would be great, but I never dreamed how amazing my grandson would be. Has there ever been another one-year-old who would crawl up in his grandpa’s lap just to watch a football game on television? It was just too good to be true that your first words were “hut-hut’.

So, I’m pretty thrilled about how this first year has turned out, even though it started out filled with fear for your whole family. You looked so perfectly healthy when you came into this world, then the doctors said you were going to need serious surgery immediately. You were the trooper you always have been. They literally reached inside you and took everything out and laid it on a table to fix what was broken. For one whole month you had tubes all over you and were isolated from us in that intensive care room. But you were so tough. You made it through.

Then, they told us you had cystic fibrosis. I didn’t know exactly what that was, but it sounded scary. And, it was even scarier when I started reading about it. There is no cure for it and the prognosis is pretty discouraging. But, thank God for all the doctors and medications that have kept you very healthy and very happy during your first year.

One thing that I never expected when I became a grandpa, was how much you were going to teach me. But God has used you to teach this old dog plenty of new ways of looking at things.

You’ve taught me, once again, how pure real love is. It’s something that we all need to be reminded of, and your crinkled-up face when you give me your biggest smile does that for me. Like your Uncle Matt said, we needed you to keep us all from becoming “bitter intellectuals”.

You’ve taught me what great people your Mommy and Daddy are. I thought I knew that already but I really didn’t. I knew that I loved them and that they were fun and smart, and that I was glad they were part of my family. But I had never seen the real beauty of the grace and peace that is within them. Day by day, they walk through the whole ordeal of your illness. They don’t complain about the hours and hours that breathing treatments and therapies and doctors appointments require of them. They don’t fret over the huge expenses of special medications and specialists’ fees. They work diligently to find the balance of keeping you healthy and yet, not overprotecting you. They’re joyful, knowing that difficult times might be ahead. All the while, they do above and beyond what’s expected of them as they reach out to teach and love teenagers in their work. You are blessed that you belong to them, and I’m blessed that they are my daughter and son-in-law.

Most importantly, Josiah, you’ve taught me how God wants me to live my life. I was so frightened when the doctor spoke those words, “cystic fibrosis”. Every negative thought immediately flooded my mind. But then God stepped in and spoke so calmly to me, “You’ll live through this day by day.” It’s true that we don’t have any promise that tomorrow you’ll be with us. But God reminded me that that’s not just true about you, but everyone. We’re all just day-to-day here on this earth, so we love God and each other as if this day is our last.

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:33-34 The Message)

I live this day believing that God will bring healing to your life – praying for the doctors and scientists that are searching for a cure, and depending on the miraculous power of God to touch you. But I live it knowing that with you and with everyone else, every moment I must love wholeheartedly, without expectations or keeping score. I can’t allow worry or concern about what the future might hold to crowd out “right now”.

So I love every single moment that I get to spend with you, Little Man. I can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am for you and how much I love you. So let’s celebrate this first year as big as we can – with football and loud music and funny faces and monkeys and Veggie Tales and everything else you love. Happy birthday to the greatest grandson that’s ever lived!

I love you so much!
G-Diddy

Hear Us On FamilyLife Today!

Here’s a save-the-date for you! We received a note from Family Life Today that our “Setting Up Stones” interview will be broadcast in two parts, Monday and Tuesday, December 7 and 8. FamilyLife Today is hosted by Dr. Dennis Rainey, President of FamilyLife and Bob Lepine. It airs on over 900 stations all over the world.
You may have seen Dr. Rainey on Fox News last week, talking about the ministry that FamilyLife has for military families. You can see that online at

http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.5601869/k.6089/Dennis_Rainey__Fox_News.htm?from=hpvideobox

To find out the time and station in your area for our interview, go to

http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3469313/k.93D4/Find_a_station.htm

Please pray that our thoughts and words on the broadcasts will make an impact on families all over the world.

On Losing A Friend

I would have expected a phone call last evening. But, I knew it wouldn’t be coming, so I just shut my phone off so I could deal with the emotion the events of the day had brought my way.

I lost a good friend yesterday, very unexpectedly, and much too early. Bill passed away on the basketball court, doing something he loved to do, with the person he most enjoyed sharing it with – his son Zach. Bill and I shared the same passions, and that’s why it didn’t take too long for us to begin to connect after we first met. He loved God intensely, and extravagantly poured out the overflow of that love on his family. He loved to laugh, boisterously, with friends. And, he loved sports. What I enjoyed most about Bill was the way all those passions kind of sloshed together. There was a seamless flow in our conversations together that usually included bits and pieces of all those things. The extent of the family and marriage counsel he sought from me was how a dad could watch his kids compete and succeed in sports without becoming too proud or too pushy. He wondered what things I had done to make Martha more interested in sports so he could share them with Deborah, too.

Bill had a real gift. I suppose it was what made him so successful in sales. I’ve never been friends with anyone who asked so many questions about me, what my thoughts were, what made me tick. And, after he figured me out, he was diligent about sharing those passions with me. The first time we were really engaged in more than cursory conversation, he managed to find out that our son Matt was attending Baylor University, so, we were a family of Baylor sports fans. That’s all it took. He pledged to me that he was going to be a Bear Backer, too, except, of course, when they faced his beloved Texas Tech Red Raiders.

And that’s when the phone calls started. I could count on hearing from him every time Baylor was on TV, or when the paper ran a story about them. The sport didn’t make any difference – football, basketball, baseball, track, men’s teams or women’s teams. The phone would ring, and he wouldn’t have to identify himself, he just led off with, “What did you think of the game?” So, when Baylor bowed out of the NCAA baseball tournament yesterday, the phone should have rung, Bill should have been on the other end to console me, and he would have ended the conversation with, “Oh well, football season starts in another month, and I’m expecting Robert Griffin to make big noise for the Bears this year. Hey! We love you guys!” But the phone was quiet.

I always felt that Bill was thinking about me. He made me feel that he valued my opinion and appreciated my company. After all, that’s just exactly what real friends do. I saw him at church yesterday morning, the first time our paths had crossed in about a month. He threw his arms around me and said, loudly, of course, “Man, we’ve missed you guys! When can we get together?” Next time we get together Bill, time won’t constrain us and busyness won’t deter us. We’ll talk and laugh as long as we want to.

So, I’ve been reminded the past twenty-four hours how important it is to shake off the tyranny of the urgent, those things that cry out for attention and fill our time, but are of no eternal value. Those people God has placed in my life really mean something. Lord, help me to be aware of my time, cautious of my attention and lavish with my love.

On The Radio

WBCL Radio Network in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, interviewed us on Monday, May 18. It’s a six-station network that covers Indiana and parts of Ohio and Michigan. Lynne Ford is the host of the weekly morning program, “Author, Author” that features interviews with several authors each week. Here it is! Our interview begins about 20 minutes into the program.


Setting Up Stones on WBCL

Warts And All

This past weekend, Martha drug out some of the old family photo albums, and coerced me to look through them with her. As we reminisced about some great times, I also happened to run across a few pictures that I would just as soon incinerate. They were scary, but I got up enough guts to post one of the least brutal ones here. No snickering allowed, because I’m sure you have some that would rival it.

Now, there’s a way, though, to embrace the embarrassment that families have for so long kept hidden. This morning, I found an “interesting” website, awkwardfamilyphotos.com. People post those strange photos right out of their family albums there for the whole world to see, and, surprisingly, don’t seem to be at all uncomfortable about doing it. Apparently, it’s the hottest new thing to arrive on the internet, according to ABC News and Fox News reports. In the last 30 days, the site has drawn over 20 million visitors. If you decide to visit it, just know it’s not completely family-friendly.

"It's tapping into something universal," said the site’s co-founder Mike Bender. "Everybody has experienced not only the awkwardness ... [but] I think there's something almost cathartic for people to share their awkwardness. That was always the hope."

It just might be a movement whose time has come.


Trying to be perfect can get really tiresome. Somewhere, we got the idea that it was really important for our families to look good. But, in doing that, we’ve burdened the ones we love most with the millstone, “whatever you do, don’t embarrass us.” That means that many of the struggles that we go through have to be swept under the rug. Even within the walls of our own home, that atmosphere demands that we “put on a good face” and bury the difficulties we’re dealing with. Being real is rare, but it can be the most healthy thing that our families can embrace.

Fear blocks that free flow of authenticity. Almost everyone has a fear of vulnerability, that, somehow, if we show that we’re less-than-perfect, there will most assuredly be a disastrous outcome. What if I’m not accepted any longer? Will they think less of me? Will I relinquish some kind of control? As we grow in our honest communication within our family, those questions and fears begin to crumble.

Being genuine creates an atmosphere at home that cultivates many of the attitudes that a family should find very attractive. It breaks down walls that block communication. With the awareness that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, it encourages teamwork. And, it lays a foundation of honesty, that affects each family member's relationship with each other and with God.

Walking with God, knowing and loving and serving Him, is a process, not a formula. It’s exciting and fulfilling and messy and challenging. If we honestly allow our family to observe us as we participate, we will allow them to see the reality of the God we love and serve, and they will be drawn to Him.

Then, when others see our family, they're not impressed about how perfect we are. They see, instead, a picture of God's grace.

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
II Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)

This is not "our day" - a time to flaunt our identity, celebrate our significance, or chastise those who choose not to acknowledge it. This is our solemn call to humility and repentance, seeking God's mercy and grace.

Tech Check

I don’t claim to be a technology expert. In fact, education consultant Marc Prensky would label me a “digital immigrant.” That’s because I’m old enough to remember when computers were massive monoliths that we never dreamed would someday be such an important part of our lives. I do know enough about technology, though, to know when I see something that provides some good answers to some of the cyberspace problems that we all hear about. I’m especially interested when parents are given a technological tool that allows them to keep their kids safe while encouraging them to experience the enrichment that the internet has to offer. So, I was particularly eager share some things that I recently discovered. Now there’s a chance that this stuff might be old news to some of you, and, if it is, simply file it away as a doddering digital immigrant’s discovery of the world around him. But, if you’ve never seen this before, and it ends up working for you, your undying gratitude is sufficient!

KIDO’Z v 1.0
www.kidoz.net

KIDO’Z v 1.0 is a safe internet browser for kids ages 3-11. It was developed by a small Israeli company, and gives kids a great introduction to the internet in a protected environment. Here’s how they describe their product:

“The KIDO'Z Kid's Web Environment is the safe, easy and fun way for young kids to surf their favorite sites, watch videos and play games. Each kid is unique, with different likes, dislikes, and different cultural and language backgrounds. And so, we created KIDO'Z with that in mind. Tons of top kids' content is loaded into KIDO'Z by the KIDO'Z team. But what makes KIDO'Z special is the content added by you, the parents. You can personalize KIDO'Z for your kids by uploading new content, selecting user interface and content languages, enhancing security settings, allowing/blocking any content...and more!”

YourSphere
www.yoursphere.com
Online social networking is huge among preteens and teens, but, they can not only be a distraction, they can be dangerous, too. A California mom of five kids developed YourSphere as an alternative for MySpace, Facebook, and other sites like them. YourSphere claims to be a completely safe online environment, but there are some reviewers that suggest that might be impossible. Certainly, though, the measures taken to keep the site free of harmful activity is far beyond most others of the networking genre. YourSphere also offers some interesting perks like social hubs that link your kids with others that have similar interests, and a rewards program where members can earn prizes. There is also a network strictly for the members’ parents, and a parents’ blog led by Mary Kay Hoal, the site’s founder.

Check out KIDO’Z and YourSphere and see if they might be a technology solution at your house. I’d like to hear your opinion about these sites, and your reviews if you choose to use them.