It’s one of those areas of controversy within the church that causes discussions confrontations, arguments, and, heaven forbid (and it does!), finger-pointing and judgmental attitudes. And it’s all about the kids.
So, as Christians, what do we do with Halloween? Can we ignore it and pretend it’s not there? That’s pretty difficult when on the evening of the 31st kids in costume are banging on our doors demanding candy. I’m sure, no matter how hard you try to keep that undercover, your kids are going to notice that kind of gimmick. I found out, anyway, that it was never a good idea to try to ignore troublesome situations when it came to my own family.
Halloween, without a doubt, has pagan roots. Over 2,000 years ago, the Druids celebrated their new year on November 1. The night before was dedicated to driving out the evil spirits so that the new year would be prosperous and productive. Costumes, bonfires and animal sacrifices, even of the human variety, were common practices. In 835 AD, Pope Gregory IV reclaimed November 1 for Christianity, proclaiming it to be the official All Saints’ Day.
To address all the opinions about acknowledging Halloween would take far too much space on this blog. And, I really don’t think it’s my job to convince anyone to accept my position anyway. I would like to suggest a few alternatives, though, that could turn a typically unholy day into something that actually can bring God glory and bring your family together.
NO FEAR
Since the primary goal of Halloween is to inflict at least some measure of fear, why not redeem the time to discuss with your family what God says about fear.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” II Timothy 1:7 (NLT)
“Don’t be afraid, my people. Be glad now and rejoice, for the Lord has done great things.” Joel 2:21 (NLT)
CELEBRATE THE SAINTS!
All Saints’ Day is a great time to remember those who have remarkably lived their lives for God. Talk with your family about those in the Bible, throughout church history and even in your own ancestry.
You might, also, want to read an article that appeared in Christianity Today, written by Harold Myra. It’s entitled “Is Halloween a Witches' Brew?: Or Have Christians Been Spooked Out of Celebrating A Part of Their Rich Tradition?” http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2000/octoberweb-only/42.0.html
So there’s a good start! And, now it’s your turn. Is there anything your family has done that has brought positive light to a dark day in October? Let us know!
Let’s hear it for the oldest guy on Facebook. I believe this is worth a rousing round of applause, if not a standing ovation.
For those of you of my generation who may be living in a cave, Facebook is an “online social network” that boasts over 100,000,000 active members worldwide. My initial reaction to the whole concept was founded from my normal overblown conspiratorial point of view. I was certain that this would bring about the eventual ruination of life as we know it. More and more, as I heard people talk about it, my attitude shifted to smugness. Facebook was too silly for me. I would never lower myself to that level.
The very coolest of the marketing folks began telling me that this was an excellent way of networking. With a book coming out, our presence on Facebook would give us access to an abundance of potential readers. I reasoned that we just didn’t need any of this new fly-by-night technology. We’ll do just fine with the traditional methods of reaching people, thank you very much.
Those Facebook people are pretty smart. After all, it does have its roots at Harvard. You can’t access anyone’s Facebook page unless you’re a member. So, when someone referred me to some information that could be found on their Facebook profile, I was left completely out of the loop. Denied the free flow of information, about six months ago, I was forced to initiate a covert entry into the world of Facebook. I joined, but I reasoned that if I left my profile absolutely blank, nobody would notice I was there.
Somehow, my friend Joe in Tennessee, found me under some online rock. I received an e-mail from Facebook that said Joe had “added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm that you know Joe in order for you to be friends on Facebook.”
So what do you do with that? Joe is my friend, and I’ve really missed seeing him since he and his family left San Antonio. To ignore him online before 100,000,000 people would be absolutely rude. But I wasn’t ready to come out of hiding yet, so I tucked the e-mail back into my mailbox until I decided what my participation in this online phenomenon was going to look like.
I cringed when a few days later I found another “friendship request” in my mailbox. This was from Sarah. I’ve known her since she was a little girl, and I officiated at her wedding a couple of years ago. That absolutely obligates somebody to publicly declare friendship, I do believe. So I confirmed the fact that Sarah was, indeed, my friend. And while I was at it, I thought it was only proper that I acknowledge Joe, too.
Within a couple of hours I checked my e-mail, only to find out that Sarah had left me a message on my otherwise blank Facebook page. She was just letting me know how happy she was that she was my very first Facebook friend. Sentiments like that just make you feel good.
And, that opened up the floodgates. Within the next couple of days, about 50 other folks just wanted to be my friend. Some of them I hadn’t heard from in a long time, and it was great to find out what they were up to. Others invited me to join special interest Facebook groups they were involved in, and some shared pictures of their families. I was introduced to “friends-of-friend”, and further expanded that phenomenon known as “six degrees of Singleton.” Despite my early rants, chides and misgivings, I was now beginning to feel just fine in this place.
Community is a great thing. It’s what Jesus had in mind when He laid out the groundwork for the first church. Being with people you know and love, depending on each other, and declaring your commitment to each other is a comfortable thing. But it’s also challenging, in a very good way. That commitment is sometimes tested and you’re called on to be accountable or to hold others accountable. But even that is worth it.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German theologian who was martyred because he resisted Adolph Hitler wrote: “Because God has already laid the only foundation of our fellowship, because God has bound us together in one body with other Christians in Jesus Christ, long before we entered into common life with them, we enter into that common life not as demanders but as thankful recipients. We thank God for what He has done for us. We thank God for giving us brethren who live by His call, by His forgiveness, and His promise.”
I’m thankful for others that God has brought into my life, in fellowship with Him and each other. Because of these people, because of you, my life is rich and I am blessed!
His name was Peter, he was seven years old and he was on his way back home to New York City. That’s about all we knew about that little boy from what he told us, but what we witnessed told plenty more.
During our recent trip to the East Coast, we spent a total of about twenty-four hours in an airport or on one of a variety of styles of aircraft we sampled. When you’re stuck in an airport, watching the “Departures” monitor while your flight time gets pushed back further and further, or when you’re on a runway waiting for your turn to take off, you have two choices. You can let the whole situation eat you alive, or you can sit back, make the best of it and people-watch. I usually choose the latter.
There is nowhere else you can go and observe such a wide swatch of life. People are coming and going, interacting and retreating into a shell, and enjoying each other’s company and getting on each other’s frazzled nerves. I always find the parent-child encounters to be the most interesting.
That’s how I met Peter. He was a bit small for his age, but he made up for it with his brilliance. He, apparently, was an airport observer like me, but he had the guts to say exactly what I was thinking. That provoked more than one “shhhhhhhhhhhhh” from his attentive Mom. Dad disappeared for a while, and I just assumed he was seeking an escape from the boredom. After a few minutes, though, he came back with a package under his arm, and he tossed it to Peter. “Here you go, Buddy,” he said. “Check this out!”
I immediately recognized the contents of Peter’s gift. It was a copy of the brand new Athlon College Football Annual that I had been thumbing through myself, earlier when I was at the magazine rack. You would have thought that Dad had uncovered buried treasure and placed it in his son’s hands. I have never seen such a display of unbridled enthusiasm.
Peter got down on his knees, using his chair as a podium, and began to drink in the contents of the magazine. The cover itself elicited his first observations.
“They have L.S.U. rated #9?! That’s ridiculous!” he exclaimed. “They’re the defending national champs!”
“They lost a lot of good players, Pete,” said Dad.
“How about number 72?”
“That was Glenn Dorsey,” said Dad. “Gone!”
“OH MY GOSH! He was the best defensive player in college football!”
“He’s with the Kansas City Chiefs now.”
Peter began daydreaming about his NFL team now. “I wish he was wearing New York Jets green.”
He opened the magazine and continued. “Do you think Florida can win it all, Dad?”
“They have some great players, like the Heisman Trophy winner.”
“Tim Tebow! What a great quarterback!”
I looked over at Peter’s Mom and she was smiling.
“He really knows his stuff,” I said.
“We really didn’t try to make him that way. He and his dad just talk about it and he drinks it in.”
Peter stood up quickly and raised his 200-page magazine high over his head. “Dad, I can’t wait until we can sit down together and read every bit of this!”
Could I ever identify with Peter! I had had the same reaction when I was his age and my dad brought me a new sports magazine. And I can remember when Matt and I would pore over every page of the new Texas Football issue together. I realize now that it’s never really the sport itself that makes those moments so memorable. Peter, Matt and I were passionate about it because it was an opportunity that we got to spend with our dads, sharing thoughts and ideas with each other. Sports aren’t the connection. Relationship is.
So, when it comes to passing on our faith to our children, we earn the privilege with the time we’ve spent sharing life together. Matt told me just the other day, “I don’t think that, at the time, I always got what we were talking about. But, I knew that if it was important enough for you to spend time with me talking about it, then it really must have been important.”
Do you want your kids to share your passion for Christ? Do you want them to be attentive to what you have to say about your faith? Here’s a simple equation - time = priority. Make time to talk to your kids. Your stories reveal to them your heart.
Greg
“Woo-Hoo!” I exclaimed as we left the restaurant, giving Greg a playful punch on the arm. “Show me to the shoe department!”
We had just been treated to a lovely dinner by our son, celebrating the first paycheck of his adult, working-man career. Our youngest was officially on his own, and I was thrilled for him, and very proud.
Parenting is a task that involves constant transitions, some of which are much more comfortable than others. We rejoice at that first word and first step, at drivers’ licenses and first dates, but we also struggle as those little feet disappear into that Pre-K classroom, or as we drive away from a college campus, leaving that big-eyed freshman sitting forlornly on the side of a dorm room bed.
This is the time of year when my senior students begin to express frustration with their parents, and their parents wonder whatever happened to their wonderful, compliant, cooperative teen. That’s because they are suddenly in the throes of one of those painful transitions, the natural tug-of-war involved in the transfer of power as children take on new privileges and responsibilities as young adults.
We’ve covered the Golden Rule and table manners and speed limit and following distance, and our kids don’t even need our help with car payments or groceries any more.
And yet, they are no less in our thoughts, no less in our prayers, no less the objects of our love and longing for all of God’s best, than they were when we snuggled their downy little heads and rocked them to sleep as babies.
But that night, I lay in bed blankly realizing that, indeed, I would not be checking to see if that silver Ford truck was in the driveway when I awoke in the night, nor would Dr. Pepper be a permanent part of the grocery list. My role as a mother had once again changed.
As I waited for sleep to come, I also realized that, while one phase of our parenting had ended, there was a whole new era open for exploration, one that will require no less love, no less commitment, and no less earnest seeking of Godly wisdom than the ones before, as we set out to be a resource and encouragement to our adult children.
Knowing how closely I hold my own children in my heart, I find great comfort in the thought that my Heavenly Father’s love for me will never be diminished, either. And I find a great challenge in learning to parent well as seasons change in a relationship that simply does not end.
Martha
It makes a huge difference, you know.
I only had my Daddy for seventeen years, but I feel the power of his impact on my life every day, even 42 years later. He was never too busy to talk to me, to read to me, to swing me around or give me a wild ride around the back yard, clinging to an old bedspread. He let me watch him work, and hand him tools, and I was happy just to sit beside him watching thunderheads build in the distance on hot summer nights, or stand at the window watching snowflakes fall. But the most amazing, life-altering thing my father did for me is this: he told me who I was. Over and over, in words and deeds, he told me that I am capable, I am honorable, I am worthy of being loved, and because I believed him, I was free to try to meet his challenge to live a life unafraid to give love.
My children have an amazing father, too. For 28 years, I have watched Greg invest all of the very best of himself into Annie and Matt. No matter what demands business or ministry might place on his time, his first effort, his best creativity, went into the priority of their lives. He provided for their physical needs, but even more, he saw to it that they had access every moment to his attention and his participation in what interested them. Whether it was watching the Muppet Movie 300 times with Annie, shooting baskets or reading sports books with Matt, or never missing a play or a game for either of them, they always had the great gift of their dad’s joyful, approving presence. As he planned wonderful trips, as he disciplined and taught, as he intentionally began conversations about God and life and truth and their roles in God’s world, Greg, too, gave his children the amazing gift. Today, as young adults, they are people of faith, sensitive to the needs of those around them, filled with the courage of their convictions, confident of God’s calling on their lives, living with great joy, in large part because their father told them who they are.
Sadly, I know far too many young people who have not had the benefit of a Godly, committed father to tell them who they are. It breaks my heart to see these kids struggle to figure out who they are, to wrestle with the question of their own value, because their fathers are absent, or, worse, abusive. That need to be valued, to be taught, to be challenged, and to be enjoyed is what I believe drives so many of our teens today to make the unfortunate decisions that send their lives into tailspins.
But the wonderful news is that, no matter what the circumstances in our homes, no matter what our age or the situations of life right now, we all have a Father, and He has told us in no uncertain terms who we are.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. ” John 1:12
“And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.” Galatians 4:6
On this Fathers Day weekend, our prayer is that we all will listen anew as our wonderful Abba tells us who we are in Him.
Martha
Yep, it’s true. I’m going to be somebody’s grandpa. It really seems difficult to believe until I’m standing in front of the mirror to shave in the mornings. And then I realize I guess I really am old enough after all.
When Annie first called us to give us the news, there was a flurry of conversation between Annie, Martha and myself about who would get to tell whom about the upcoming blessed event. After all the territory was established, I got to tell the girl who gives me my coffee at Starbucks, and a total stranger who was in line in front of me at the grocery store checkout. Thus, the pecking order was set, and I understood completely where grandpas ranked.
Ever since the news broke, I’ve had a lot of people offer their congratulations, and a few more who found it necessary to inform me that it means I’m really getting old. But, most of them asked me one question – what is the baby going to call me. I hadn’t even considered that until so many folks started asking, but I soon decided it was worth my attention.
“Grandpa” is much too pedestrian, and “grandfather,” much too formal. “Gramps” is a sitcom character and “Pops” runs a bait stand at the coast. We can’t use “Poppa” because Martha and I both called our grandfathers that. I searched the internet and found a website that exhausted all the possible names for grandfathers, even allowing for people to make their own suggestions. In Norway, it’s “bestpappa.” That might be a bit pretentious, but I like the sentiment. “Big Daddy” could be a 50’s beatnik or, at least, a constant reminder that I needed to stick with my diet. “BopBop?” Isn’t that an anime cartoon character? “Bubba?” Too redneck. The animal names listed, like “Granddog,” “Fish,” “DuckDuck,” and “Turtle” were just too ridiculous to even consider. Then, there was a whole list of them that described unflattering personality traits - “Grumpy,” “Chippy,” “Grunt,” “Kinky” and “Honey” among them.
Right now, I’m leaning toward one that Annie came up with – “G-Diddy.” It’s very cool and current, and it definitely makes a statement. The only problem I foresee is that I would have to buy some expensive sunglasses and a new wardrobe, and trick out my Expedition in order to live up to the hype.
Actually, I’m not going to worry about the whole name thing any more. I’ve decided that the baby will call me whatever he/she wants to call me. Grandfathers rarely have a choice in the matter. One thing I am concerned about, though, is what that grandchild will call me fifty years from now. When that baby grows up and is about to become a grandparent for the first time, I want to be remembered fondly. I want them to remember that I was always joyful and that I was a source of encouragement and strength. I want them to recall my prayers for them, my kind words, and the fact that I was always willing to listen. I want the words “steadfast,” “gracious,” “wise,” and “loving” to be synonymous with my name. I want my grown-up grandchild to remember my passion and my faith. I want to leave that kind of legacy.
It's available! Our first book, Setting Up Stones, is now ready for online pre-orders. It will still be a couple of months before it's delivered, but you can purchase it now and save a little bit of money. With gas prices the way they are today, that's not a bad thing. The way I figure it, if you buy forty copies of Setting Up Stones at the pre-order discount, you can probably fill your tank once and have plenty of gifts to give your friends and family. You can order the book from amazon.com or christianbook.com. When you go there, search for either "Setting Up Stones" or "Martha and Greg Singleton" and it will take you right to it. If that seems like a lot of trouble just to get a book, then all you have to do is look over to the left-hand column of this page, and under "LINKS", click on "Order SETTING UP STONES from amazon.com" or "Order SETTING UP STONES from christianbook.com". Thank you all for your love and support!
